


The Apple Pie Life

by avenge_the_angel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Amnesia, Car Accident, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Memory Loss, No Wincest, Normal Life, One Shot, Retirement, destiel with kids, domestic! Castiel, domestic! Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-23
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-09 08:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/771977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avenge_the_angel/pseuds/avenge_the_angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A car accident took Dean's memories. He can't remember closing hell, or saving the world... again. He doesn't remember his two children or marrying Cas. But he wakes up to a life he's always wanted, a life he never thought he would have. He's being handed a chance to have the normal life he should have had. But when has luck ever been on his side?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Apple Pie Life

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I had to get this out of my head before Supernatural returns tomorrow.

Dean gasped awake, fear and adrenaline coursing through his body. Something was wrong. His breathing quickened, his heart racing and all he could keep thinking was that something was wrong. Something was desperately wrong.

Dean looked around him and saw white walls, fresh flowers on a night stand, the quiet beep of monitors; a hospital room. Why was he hooked up to all those machines? How did he get here in the first place? Just a few moments ago he was chasing something through a warehouse, hunting something that had killed four people in the last two months. 

He began freeing himself from the IV line and the monitors as quietly as he could. He had to get out of here. He had to find Sam. But just as he was about to bolt, via the window, the door to his room opened. Dean looked over his shoulder and faltered. It was Cas. 

“Dean, what are you doing?” Cas asked staring at him. Dean wasn’t sure what to say. The last time he had seen Cas, he’d just beaten Dean to within an inch of his life, but something had stopped him. Cas stepped forward, reaching out to Dean.

“Everything’s alright Dean. No one is going to hurt you.” Cas said with a kindness and certainty that made Dean believe him. Dean walked slowly towards Cas, still unsure of what was going on. 

“Do you remember who I am?” Cas asked as they stepped closer to each other. Dean nodded, possibly even more confused than before. 

“Of course I remember you, Cas. You nearly beat me to death two months ago.” Cas flinched at the harshness in his voice and immediately Dean felt bad. He hadn’t intended for that to come out as a growl. There was a small silence that made Dean uneasy.

“What’s the last thing you remember, Dean?” Cas asked, his head suddenly snapping up. Dean furrowed his brow, thinking the question stupid. 

“I was walking through a warehouse, hunting something. Me and Sam hadn’t figured out what yet, but we knew it was in that warehouse.” Dean explained, remembering the two bodies that had been found dumped around that area. 

“What year?” Cas’ voice sounded worried, and that made Dean a little cautious.

“Mid-April, 2013. Why?” 

Cas gave a small smile, and looked a little relieved. But that didn’t help Dean with anything. 

“We were hunting a pack of ghouls. Don’t worry, we got ‘em.” Sam said from the doorway.

“Okay, so what am I in the hospital for?” Dean wanted answers and soon. Sam glanced at Cas, who was staring at the floor. 

“It was my fault Dean. The road was dark and I insisted on driving. I never saw the edge, and there was no guard rail. You’ve been in a coma for three weeks. The doctor’s say you got hit pretty badly on your head. It’s been 8 years since the night I ran away with the angel tablet.” 

Dean looked at Sam. 8 years? He could see it, but just barely. There were wrinkles near his mouth and eyes, not noticeable, but still there. Dean could see it. 

“8 years? What’s happened?” Dean wasn’t sure he could believe this. He had seen some crazy stuff. He had been to hell, and to purgatory and to heaven even. He had died more times than he would care to count, and some of those times it was on purpose. But missing 8 years of his life? As common as amnesia is, Dean couldn’t get behind that idea. 

But Sam and Cas got comfortable and began filling Dean in on the last 8 years. 

After the ghouls, Sam and Dean closed up hell. The world was safe and someone with good intentions was running heaven. Within two years, Sam and Dean, with the others hunters had rid the world of demons. There were still a few running around, but they tried not to make too much noise. 

At that point, Sam and Dean had no qualms with retiring. Dean started working in construction, fixing up cars in his spare time, while Sam worked as an electrician to help pay for law school. He fully intended to return to the life had tried to have before Dean dragged him back into all of it.

“Cas still won’t say what happened to the angel tablet. Or what happened in heaven. But we haven’t heard much from upstairs. A few Angels here and there. They say things are better, that heaven’s the way it should be. But no one’s talking about what happened.” Sam said when Dean asked about the tablet.

“After I was done helping my brothers and sisters, I came to find you. You helped me find a job, helped me adjust to a normal life here. I still have my grace, and I use it when I must. I am not the only angel who has taken up life on Earth. We are trying to make it better.” Cas said a proud light in his eyes. 

Sam was halfway through law school now, still working part time to pay for it. Dean worked as a contractor and actually used his knowledge of the supernatural to protect houses discreetly. He used salt as an additive in paint or used lead piping or carved protective symbols into beams to protect unsuspecting civilians from the dangers of the world around them. 

As Cas and Sam told Dean about his life, he could tell there was something they were leaving out. Some issue they were skirting around. It wasn’t that he was paralyzed.

“What are you not telling me?” Dean asked, interrupting Sam talking about Kevin’s big wig company. He was making a lot of money, and leading a good life and that’s all Dean really cared to know. The kid had survived the hell he’d gone through, and that was good enough for Dean. Sam looked at Cas, and a tiny motion from Cas had Sam standing.

“I’m gonna go get some food. You guys want anything?” Sam asked. Dean shook his head and Sam left. Cas was quiet for a few moments, he looked worried as he stared at his hands. 

“Come on, Cas. What are you not telling me?” Dean was a little worried. 

“When I came back, after hiding the Angel tablet, I came to help you as best as I could. We weren’t sure how this was going to end. For the most part, we all thought we were going to die before the end of the night. You took the opportunity and…” Cas got nervous. He wasn’t sure how to finish this story. 

“What, Cas? Did I… did I hurt you or something?” Dean asked, scared that he had. Cas laughed and shook his head. 

“No, far from it. You confessed your feelings for me. We didn’t talk about it, not really, but we did acknowledge mutual affection for one another. After closing hell, and realizing we’d lived, we spent a few weeks holed up in the ‘Bat Cave’.” Cas’ smile was enough for Dean to know exactly what happened those few weeks. And it was that moment Dean stopped doubting everything he was seeing. Nothing could have known about those feelings. 

Dean smiled at Cas, slowly accepting everything he had just learned about himself. He exhaled slowly, his smile growing larger, encouraging Cas to go on. 

“After those few weeks, I left to go deal with Heaven and the Angel tablet. Every now and then we would meet in some town or go for dinner before parting ways and getting back to work. When everything was finished, I joined you in what you call ‘retirement’. You and I have been living in the cave for the past 6 years. Without any major troubles.” Cas said, still not looking directly at Dean. 

“There’s more Cas. Come on, don’t skip anything.” Dean said with a chuckle. Cas looked up at Dean, a glow in his eyes that made Dean’s heart skip a beat, in a good way. His smile was contagious. 

“And we’ve been married for the past 5.” Cas finished. No one but Dean would have caught the slight hesitation in his voice. But dean knew he was just nervous that Dean would reject him because of the memory loss. There had been some mixed feelings between the two of them the past few years. They had so much history between them, it was hard to figure whether Dean would be happy about this development or reject it completely. But Dean kept smiling, his grin lighting up the room. 

“We have two children. And we constantly foster children whose parents are away hunting.” Dean never thought he would have this life. He never saw himself settling down and having kids, have a family of his own that didn’t hunt monsters or kill ghosts. He was living an honest to God, normal life. 

“Are you serious? Or are you yanking my chain?” Dean asked, hoping it was all true. He was tired of things not going right. He was tired of being let down or left behind when things seemed like they were going to be okay. “Is it really over? No more running around, no more spending nights in a cheap motel or sleeping in the Impala?” Dean asked desperately hoping Cas was telling the truth. Cas nodded, grinning at the fact that Dean sounded like he really wanted the life they had together. 

“Baby is still around right?” Dean had so many questions, but he had time to answer them. For once in his life, there was no rush for answers. No rush to save the world. He could breathe. 

“Yes, the Impala is still intact and running beautifully thanks to your care and diligence in her repairs. The car I destroyed was a car we found for me a few months ago.” Cas said sitting down beside Dean, his hand resting cautiously next to Dean’s. Dean took his hand, taking a chance he hadn’t taken before, at least not in his memory. 

“Why did it take you so long to drive?” Dean asked. It wasn’t an important question, but that was the point. He didn’t have to ask only important questions anymore. He could do small talk, spend time getting to know his husband. 

“Well, I used to fly everywhere. And if we ever had to drive multiple people or kids, you were around. But about a year ago, there was an emergency with Sam and you left to go help. I stayed with the kids. One of them broke their arm and though I was able to fix it, I realized that may not be the case all the time. What if you were gone and one of them found out their parents were in danger? Or something got past your defenses? What would I do then? So I asked you to teach me to drive.” Cas said looking Dean straight in the eye. Dean admired how serious and concerned Cas looked while talking about protecting their children.

And Dean was mesmerized by his blue eyes. They seemed more vivid, more electric blue than Dean remembered. But Dean blinked and his eyes were royal blue like they always had been. 

“What are our kids like?” Cas smiled this huge radiant smile.

“Allison, or Alli for short, is 11. Her mother and father died when was 3, just before you closed hell. They were good people and did what they could to help you and Sam. We took her in and raised her as if she were our own. She is amazing and absolutely admires you. Then there’s Micah. He’s actually your child. We used a surrogate and your genes. He’ll 5 next year.” Cas said, looking every bit the proud parent. 

Dean’s smile faded. He wished he could have all his memories back. He wanted to remember teaching Alli to ride a bike or taking her to school. He wanted to remember Micah’s first words, and first steps. He just wanted to remember his own children. 

“Dean you look upset. Is everything okay?” Cas asked, sounding worried. 

“I just wish I could remember.” Dean whispered. 

**

The drive to the Cave was short. Cas tried to remember any changes Dean wouldn’t remember. The kitchen had been updated, and a few months ago Dean had finished rewiring the entire place. When they pulled up beside the inconspicuous entrance, Dean inhaled quickly.

What if his kids didn’t like him anymore? What if he couldn’t live up to being the man they called their father? What if he couldn’t handle being a father?

His mind raced back to when he found out he had a daughter with an Amazon. He had killed her. He wasn’t dad material then, what would make him think he was now?

“Dean, everything is going to be okay. Your children love you, and understand that not everything will be the same. Don’t worry.” Cas said in that soothing, kind voice that calmed Dean down. 

“What if I’m no longer a good dad? What if I’m terrible at this?” Dean whispered, letting go of his inhibitions. He could tell Cas what was going through his head. They were married, weren’t they? Hell, Cas probably already knew what he was thinking. 

“Because there’s no way on earth you could be a bad father, Dean. I’ve never known another person so perfect for anything as you are for being a great dad. Come on, they’re waiting.” Cas got out of the car and grabbed his stuff from the back seat. Dean grimaced and followed Cas into the Cave. 

“Alli, we’re back!” Cas called loudly. Sam had gone back to his own apartment, he would be joining them for dinner though. There were loud footsteps and the sounds of a gang of children running through the underground bunker. 

“Dad!” A young girl called before running into Cas. Dean was in the room over, still looking the Cave over. He didn’t see Cas point the young girl in his direction. “Papa!” was his only warning before she threw herself into Dean. Dean staggered a bit, surprised at the sudden action of hugging from an unknown child. 

Dean patted her back, his mind still processing. She had called him Papa. Papa. Something about that title made Dean feel good. It felt right, and Dean couldn’t explain why. Cas walked into the room, a small child on his waist. Dean looked at the child in Cas’ arms. He had curly blond hair and dark blue eyes. The kid looked exactly like Dean had at that age. Micah smiled at Dean, and reached out for him, asking for Dean to take him. Dean took Micah into his arms, holding his child for the first time. 

“Papa!” Micah squealed as he squeezed Dean’s neck. “I missed you! Where were you?” Micah looked very upset that Dean had been gone for so long. His pout nearly made Dean laugh. 

“Didn’t Daddy tell you? Papa was hurt pretty bad, and I had to stay at the hospital until they were sure I was good and healthy again. I promise I won’t leave again.” Dean said just loud enough so Micah and Alli, who was still firmly attached to his mid-section, could hear him. Alli squeezed a little tighter and Micah smiled and proceeded to play with Dean’s hair. 

“You’re gonna be okay, right Papa?” Alli whispered quietly into Dean’s stomach. Dean reached down and touched her head. 

“I’ll be honest, I don’t remember a few things, but I’m gonna be just fine. You two gotta be good and help me out every now and then. Alright?” Alli nodded solemnly, her dark brown eyes surveying Dean’s face, looking for any sign of lying. 

“How much do you not remember?” 

“Well, there’s a large chunk of my life missing. 8 years that I don’t remember a single day of, but it doesn’t matter, I’m here now and there’s no place I would rather be.” Dean smiled at Alli, hoping that would ease her mind a little. She seemed worried that Dean had forgotten so much. It was then that he noticed the other kids around the corner, waiting for the little family moment to pass. 

“Who do we have here?” He asked looking at the kids peeking around the door frame. He set Micah down who ran over and started pushing kids into view so that Dean could meet everyone. 

“This is Tommy! His parents are hunting a vampire nest in Northern California. And this is Debbie. Her mom is hunting a Wendigo in Michigan! She’s got her three brothers for back up, don’t worry. And these are the twins, Melanie and Lindsey. Their dad is hunting harpies in Chicago. And Amy is around here somewhere. Her uncle’s been gone for a month now, said he was tracking a djinn in Oklahoma.” Micah said introducing all the kids individually. 

But when he talked about the djinn in Oklahoma, Dean’s memory lurched back to his last memory. The warehouse, in Bixby, Oklahoma, he and Sam were hunting something. But there was nothing in the abandoned warehouse, everything was a little off. But Cas’ voice brought Dean back from memory lane. 

“Who’s hungry?” Cas asked, noticing Dean’s far off expression. Dean blinked a few times, his eyes focusing back in on the current time and place. The kids scurried into the kitchen, all talking loudly about what they wanted to eat. Dean followed a little ways behind, trying to figure out what came next in his memories. 

Why couldn’t he remember anything?

The doctor had said that Dean might recover his memory eventually. Or that he might never remember. But after a second scan of his brain, the doctor had determined that Dean was healthy and fit to leave. There was a chance he would slowly start to remember, but there was also a chance he wouldn’t. 

As Dean was about to walk into the kitchen, he saw something out of the corner of his eye. His head snapped around to the corner, where he thought he saw something out of the ordinary. But when his eyes refocused, whatever it was he thought he saw was gone now. Dean shook his head and chuckled. Maybe it was just his memories attempting to surface. That’s all it could be. Right?

**

It had been two months and Dean had adjusted perfectly to his life. He still couldn’t recall the past 8 years, but he was sure the memories were there, and one day they would all come back. Cas had been amazing the past two months. 

He had been patient and supportive of Dean, helping him whenever he could. Dean had decided to take time off as a contractor, so that he could get used to everything. The company he had been employed with understood. They said that whenever he was ready he could come back. 

Sam was over frequently, and Cas said it was a common thing. Sam practically lived here. 

“Nothing will ever separate the Winchester Brothers. Especially not married life.” Cas sighed on one occasion when Sam walked out of the bathroom after a shower. Sam grinned and nodded before retreating into his bedroom, leaving Dean laughing on his own bed. 

Dean saw things sometimes. In the corner of his eye, he was sure it was his memories trying to surface, but a part of him said it wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right. His dreams were strange, filled with dank warehouses and skeletal corpses laying forgotten on the floor or hanging from the ceiling. He brushed the dreams off as memories from before. They were the same dreams from many, many years before when he’d been captured by a djinn. But that’s all they were dreams, memories. At least he still had those memories. 

** 

For months Dean and Cas lived a life Dean had always wanted. He had a loving husband, and wonderful children, and watched kids who had been born into the Hunter life. He spent his days being the average house spouse; cooking, cleaning, teaching kids to play baseball. And his nights… well his nights were between him and Cas. 

It was a rainy day, everyone was stuck in doors and Dean saw two of Cas. But not the normal seeing two of someone. His Cas was wearing jeans and one of Dean’s shirts, his hair was ruffled, and he had Micah around his shoulders, who was laughing and playing with Cas’ hair. The other Cas, was like Cas was before; rumpled suit, dirty trench coat, and straight expression. But when Dean blinked the second Cas, the one from before, was gone. His Cas was still there, watching Dean with a careful expression. 

“You okay?” Cas mouthed from across the room. Dean nodded, and rubbed his eyes. He was seeing things again and he said to himself that it had to be his memories again. He faked a smile and walked towards the kitchen. 

He grabbed a glass and filled it with water. These mirages during the day were getting worse, more frequent. 

“Hey, what’s going on?” Cas asked, rubbing Dean’s back as he downed the glass of water. Dean grimaced and looked over his shoulder at Cas, before turning to face him. 

“I don’t know. I keep seeing these weird things and I thought they were just memories, trying to come back, but now I’m not so sure. I just saw two of you, but not the same two. There was you, then there was you from before, with the trench coat and the suit. And I’ve been having weird dreams. I don’t know Cas, it’s all just a little weird.” Dean said leaning against the counter. 

“We can go back to the doctor, and see if maybe there’s something we can do? There’s a possibility he missed something. I’ll call later tonight, sound good?” Cas asked, stepping closer and grabbing Dean’s fore arms. Dean nodded and pulled Cas closer. He gazed down at his husband, into his… electric blue eyes? But a second later they were dark blue again. Dean shrugged it off as a trick of the light, it wasn’t the first time that had happened. He leaned down and captured Cas’ mouth with his own, his arms around Cas’ waist, meeting at the small of his back, while Cas rested one hand on Dean’s chest, and the other on his forearm. 

Dean’s mind cleared, and he thought of Cas. He smiled through the kiss, pulling Cas tighter just a little, resulting in Cas’ hand around his neck, the tips of his fingers lightly touching the small hairs on the back of Dean’s head. It was in these moments that Dean threw away every conspiracy thought he had regarding this life and his ‘forgotten’ memory. How could this kind of memory be faked? How could this be anything other than real? And if it wasn’t, why should Dean care? 

As Cas pulled away, and Dean opened his eyes, Dean wished he hadn’t. The kitchen was gone, replaced with a warehouse, bodies hanging all around him. Dean squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them, the kitchen was back, and Cas stood in front of him worried. 

“Maybe sooner rather than later with that call to the doctor.” Dean said through clenched teeth as he held his head. A few minutes later Cas and Dean were outside the hospital lobby, Sam already on his way to the Cave to watch the kids. They made their way into the lobby, and Dean sat down on a chair while Cas went to check in. 

Dean held his head and hoped he didn’t see anything else. He didn’t want to open his eyes. He was scared that none of this was real. That his life for the last six months had all been some illusion, some dream he couldn’t escape, wouldn’t want to escape. 

Cas came over and started rubbing Dean’s back, and Dean could tell he was worried and confused. Dean reached out and touched Cas’ leg, to let him know everything was going to be okay. Things had to be okay. 

When the doctor called him in, Dean had to change into a hospital gown so that they could take some scans. Cas couldn’t come with him to get scanned, so he sat in the exam room, nervously waiting for his husband to return. In the exam room, Dean lay down on the table, trying to breath normally. He kept his eyes closed, so that he didn’t see anything else that wasn’t real. But sounds of fighting penetrated his mind. He was now hearing things. 

For a minute Dean was excited, maybe he was starting to remember when he and Sam had closed hell. Maybe these other memories had just been something weird. But things didn’t sound right, it didn’t sound like a big fight. It sounded like a normal everyday skirmish. 

The table started to move and Dean closed his eyes, a bright light shone behind his eyes and then the world shifted. He was no longer laying down on a table, but hanging by his arms, his body weak. The sounds of fighting became louder like they were right in front of him. 

Dean willed his eyes open, they were so heavy. He saw Castiel, the trench coat wearing angel, fighting a large guy with tattoos over his body. A djinn. So it had been that all along. Cas reached out a hand, touching the djinn on the head, smiting him down. Dean could feel himself slipping from the world. He was so weak, barely holding on. God knows how long he had been hanging here, how long they had been looking for him. 

Cas hurried to Dean’s side and released him. Dean crumpled to the floor and Cas quickly knelt down beside him, touching Dean’s face. 

“Cas…” Dean’s voice was weak, barely loud enough to count as a whisper. 

“Dean, I can’t…. there’s not enough blood…. I can’t…. I can’t do anything Dean.” Cas stuttered as he tried to drag Dean onto his lap. Even through his tired eyes, Dean could see Cas was crying. 

“Cas, how long?” Dean gasped out, trying to stay with him. He couldn’t leave Cas, he had to fight through this. He was going to fight through this. 

“Four days. Sam lost you in the ware house; you called him and said you were back at the car. You said there was nothing in there. But when he got to the car, you weren’t there. He called me, and I should have gotten here sooner. I’m sorry Dean. I’m sorry.” Cas tried to stay stoic throughout, but everything was going to hell in a handbasket. 

“Cas, it’s okay. I’ll be okay.” Dean said, but he’d been trying this entire time to move something, anything. He couldn’t go now. He had seen what could be, he had seen what he could have with Cas. 

“Dean… there’s…. there’s no way… you’re missing too much blood.” Cas tried to explain it to Dean, but he couldn’t say it out loud. Couldn’t say what they both needed to hear. 

But Dean knew what he was avoiding. Dean just didn’t want to admit it, although he had to. 

“It’s okay, Cas. Help Sam close hell. Do it for me. I’ll be stuck there, but as I can take it.” Dean got out, he had one more thing to say, he could feel everything getting cold. He didn’t have much time. 

“I will take you to heaven myself. I won’t allow you to be stuck down there.” Cas sounded like he was serious. Dean was thankful, but he had to say this last thing, then he could go wherever he was supposed to go. 

“Cas… I should have said sooner…. I thought I had more time.” Dean tried to breathe, but everything was getting cold, and dark and he was slipping. He had to have more time. Just a few seconds more, just a few more words. Oh god, just a few more seconds, please. Cas held him closer, they could both feel it getting closer. He choked out a sob, wishing they had more time. Dean was going limp in his arms, and Cas could see the light fading from his eyes.

“Cas… I…”


End file.
